Day -1

I know, I know, it's soooooooooo cliche to say that my "new lifestyle" starts tomorrow, Monday morning, not today. I mean come on, how many people swear to start their brand new life Monday morning, not Tuesday afternoon, or Sunday night? Just about everyone, and then come Friday, they are over it all. Gone are the salad lunch Monday's, or veggies Wednesday, enter pizza night Friday's. I would tell you that I'm starting now, and I guess "technically" I am, but it's already after 8 on Sunday night, so while I'm not going to contribute any longer to my fatness, there isn't much I can do about my craptacular day other than grab a giant eraser, and erase it away. BTW if you happen to possess this giant eraser, please let me know ASAP, because you are my new bff. So, this is why I stick to my guns and say that I'm starting tomorrow, hence the title, "Day -1."

I realize that no one is reading this, and you know what? That's ok. This blog is for me. This blog is for me to vent to, AW at, and document my journey, because I AM going to do this. Then one day, the day that I reach my goals, maybe I can share it with someone who could really use it, and could benefit from it. Of course, I am not saying that I don't want anyone to read this, but I'm not delusional enough to think that people actually care to read this.

I am starting this blog, because I for one am sick of failing. I'm sick of starting diets out with high expectations, and failing. I'm tired of blabbing to all of my friends and family how I'm going to change, only to throw in the towel a week or two later. I know that I can't do this for anyone except me, and I am ready. I am ready like I have never been before. I know that I can do this.

I want to lose weight for a huge variety of reasons, no pun intended. I am sick to death of being fat. It's actually starting to affect my health at this point. I am constantly tired all of the time, I don't have the energy to do fun things anymore, my feet and ankles get tired after standing for long periods of time, I am winded after going up a flight of stairs, and I know it's just a matter of time, before I get more serious complications.

I'm not going to lie either, a huge part of it is vanity. For once in my life, I want to be the skinny bitch. I want to wear the cute outfits and work it, while I'm still young enough to pull it off. I want to trot around the pool in my little tiny bikini, and look hot, and not a hot mess instead. For once, I want to know that I'm beautiful, and actually believe it. I want to walk into a room, and for once in my life, have guys stare and think that I'm hot. I want to be able to walk into Banana Republic, Abercrombie, and any of the other stores with cute clothes, and be able to pick up anything cute off of the rack, and know that it fits.

I also want to start living my life again. I feel that I have put so much on hold, because of my fatness. Sometimes I avoid social engagements, because I am ashamed at how I look. I would rather sit home alone, than to feel like a completely awkward whale. I also don't pursue hobbies or have any desire to go out, because I'm afraid. I would love to dance the nights away, but my weight, and my fear hinder that. I want to be more adventurous, but I'm too afraid, at this point to step out of my comfort zone.

There are many other reasons, but these are just a few as to why I want to lose the weight. I am vowing to myself that I will do this and I can't give up. I am going to use the elliptical at least 5 times a week, add in some strength training, eat a low fat healthy diet, and to document my thoughts, feelings, and progress. So join me on my journey, from totally flab to totally fab!

Talk to you tomorrow!

Katie :)